Confessions of a Distance Runner

The mind of a distance runner is a wonderful and terrifying thing {sounds like a Willy Wonkaism}.

Some days I think we’re just a big ball of emotions that’s only controlled through the outlet of sweat.

Over the miles there may be frustrations, wild joy and tears of well name any emotion! Which of course is one of the many reasons that we show up mile after mile to push our bodies, when our friends can’t understand why anyone would want to run that far or that often.
The truth is that around mile 23 of every marathon, all distance runners start questioning their sanity and believing their friends are right… this is just stupid. It’s called the wall.

BUT prior to that are the months of training that we love to chat about around the water cooler. For all the times we want to say “every muscle in my body hurts” and instead say “hell ya I ran 20 miles Sunday, then chowed down on a burger while watching football” here are the other things we aren’t 100% truthful about for fear you’ll see through our thin layer of sanity.

Confessions of A Distance Runner

What I think about while running:
“I love life” – During a great run, I’ll find myself with a huge toothy grin thinking life couldn’t get any better than that moment.

“I hate running” – A few seconds later, I trip because I’m not looking at where I’m going, I’m gazing at the puffy clouds in the sky and now my knees are skinned and I want to cry like a toddler whose fallen on the playground.

“Good story” – As I regroup I realize this is going to make for another great running story and I’m off again to finish that run with blood dripping down my leg, feeling like a total badass because really who runs while they are bleeding?!

Race guilt:
I feel like I’m supposed to be racing and setting PR’s all the time because I have this blog.

But I’m not. I’m just trying to enjoy my life. I’m running lots of miles because they make me happy.

PE:
I hated it. No I was not a runner as a kid.

In fact, I’ve found that the majority of runners will tell you we too hated running before starting.

Road Kill:
Anyone who has done a Ragnar knows this term, but if you don’t, it’s basically a notation of passing someone while running.

Personally, if someone passes me, I immediately assume they aren’t running as far. Or having moved to Boulder, I assume they’re an Olympian.

Morning Runs:
I love my morning runs, but that doesn’t mean I’m a morning person. I don’t really want to chat until I’ve run, showered and had a smoothie.

And in truth, it takes time for morning running to become a habit and then suddenly you can’t live without out it. But yes, I still bemoan the dark starts.

Sniff Test isn’t Just for Teens:
I totally re-wear clothes because I already feel like it’s a mass amount of laundry, usually it gets the sniff test. I also frequently in winter wipe my nose on my sleeve cause I just can’t manage the snot rocket.

Stairs Suck:
No matter how many miles I run, I still find myself huffing and puffing going up multiple flights of stairs.

So when you want to have a great equalizer with your run buddies, just throw some stairs in the mix.

Running Shoes Are Always Necessary:
A new pair can magically heal my injury…or get me out the door regardless of any mood. I may or may not always have more pairs than one might think necessary, but each one is valuable…plus ya gotta rotate your running shoes!

Bathroom Habits are Free Discussion:
If you think new parents talk about baby bathroom habits a lot, you haven’t spent enough time on long runs with runners. Runners talk about this way more than the rest of the world.

When Dr. Oz talks about it, we’re like no biggie it happens all on it’s own. When friends talk about not having gone for days, we think they just need a run…it gets things moving.

We’ve learned that while porta potties might not smell great, they can be our very best friend.

Oprah Effect:
We set random race day goals based on beating celebrities for no good reason and then we judge ourselves based on whether or not we could beat them. It’s confusing even to us.

Distance Over Speed:
I’d happily run 10 miles over 1 fast mile on any given day. We often spend too much time worrying about being slow and honestly, that’s part of why we say we run long, not fast.

And yet, I am now adding in Speed drills to help my body naturally run faster.

Stare Down:
If you’re driving by and staring at me as I run, I will stare back…it bothers me and I want to bother you too. Then as you turn the corner I will sprint because I’m concerned about road rage!

Travel Lodging:
If it doesn’t have a treadmill or some place safe to run, I’m not staying there.

Yes, we understand our logic sounds insane to so many because why not just relax. But runsploring a new city is part of what gives me joy on a trip and I simply LIKE starting my days with a sweat session so even a treadmill is a good start.

Tripping is an Art:
It happens more than I’d like to admit, but I trip on roots, sidewalks and my own two feet. When I do it in front of you, the appropriate response is “are you ok?” Not “damn that looks like it hurts” or just walking by (yup totally happened in Miami).

And yes, I am always going to look around like SOMETHING tripped me and not just my shuffle from being tired. You should absolutely play along with this and say, “oh yes there was something there but I think you kicked it out of the way.”

Pee Checks:
We’re always checking the color to see if we’re hydrated well or need more electrolytes. See I told you there is a lot of bathroom talk.

Instagram is Good:
Has dramatically improved our selection of places to run! I never used to think about how pretty a place was, I just went…now I’m far more aware of the beauty and altering a route to somewhere nicer!

Mood = Run Quality:
My ability to go for a run directly impacts my focus and mood for the day, legit studies show it makes you a better employee. So for everyone thinking we’re nuts getting up at 4 AM…watch us climb the ladder!

Luckily as the years have gone by a bad run no longer causes full day crankiness, which is super normal because we were expecting that rush of endorphins and got lead feet instead.

Treadmills Are AWESOME:
It’s the cool thing to dis them, but let’s be honest sometimes they’re a great excuse to catch up on Real Housewives or simply to avoid an icy run that changes your form.

Bad Weather = Bad Ass:
It blows, but you can’t wait to post that badass runner photo, so you go anyways! Yup, social media again, getting us out the door.

Doctors Aren’t Smarter:
They don’t get runners or they wouldn’t say dumb things like “just don’t run”, hence we clearly know better and will self diagnose.

• First, we’ll Google until we find out we’re dying.
• Second, we’ll ask running friends until we get to someone who knows someone who had surgery.
• Third, you end up on my blog and find out often that some hip strength is the key.

I do hereby admit to having ignored a few doctors in my day. Now, I actually have a new plan which is to see a Physical Therapist and evaluate my movement patterns before going in to freak out mode.

Race Shirts:
For no discernible reason we are forbidden from wearing a race shirt that we have not yet run or where we had a DNF or DNS…mostly because you might ask us about it and then we have to fess up. It’s an unwritten rule, so I have no idea how we all know about it, but watch the next race where you’ll see confused glances at those wearing the shirt already.

And in truth, most race shirts just aren’t our favorite. There’s other race swag we’d rather get for the money (like free photos!)

Knee Talk:
Every time someone tells me that running is bad for my knees I have to take a deep breath to stop myself from saying so is sitting on your ass all day. Stop the myth.

Weights = None Ya Business:
Just because I don’t want to lift heavy things doesn’t mean I’m dumb. Can’t we all just get along and cross train in whatever way makes us happy.

Runner’s High:
Completely real and likely part of what we’re chasing, but it’s elusive and more miles than not are about finding an inner mental strength to keep going.

Should’s:
Every time you tell me you “should” run more I have to restrain myself from the eye roll…no one should run. If you want to then do it. If you don’t want to then don’t do it. Just DO something and stop pretending like you want to do something.

What’s your confession?

Do you relate to any of these?

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